How To Mourn What Never Was

mary-cassatt-mother-and-child-1880

Your mother holding your newborn child~

Nose kisses, bedtime stories, chatty talks,

First day of school clothes

cuddle monster, bed chase, sidewalk chalk,

Santa Claus

swing pushes,  explorations, road trips,

seeing the world through the eyes of your child.

History homework, teen age blooming, not so secret crushes–

diplomas, driver lessons, college aspirations,

setting them free into the world.

 

Not having that, never having that, always wanting that,

with a husband who could but wouldn’t comply,

4 lost chances, 4 partial glimpses, 4 and then no more.

 

When we look back on our lives

there’s always one central tragedy

one big ka-pow to our soul–

it’s how we live each day despite that wrench

that shows how far we can go…

to find peace to find joy

to find peace….

in what remains of the world.

 

 

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